Grimace wins. Grimace always wins.

Some months back I wrote about the tragic circumstances involving my purchase of a Big Mac with one (1) beef patty from the Riverhead McDonald’s. Not being able to let this stand, I wrote a strongly worded letter to McDonald’s. Their response, and my ensuing reaction, is yet another example that consumer laziness will generally trump dissatisfaction with service.

Behold:

Hello Tino:

Thank you for taking the time to contact McDonald’s regarding our website, www.mcdonalds.com. We always appreciate hearing from our customers.

We apologize you were unsatisfied with our website. Please know your comments have been shared with our Web Development Team. I am certain they will further investigate.

Again, thank you for contacting McDonald’s.

Jennifer
McDonald’s Customer Response Center

Clearly, they didn’t follow the link I included in my original complain. Upsetting. So I responded in kind:

Your continued intransigence on this matter baffles me. A few days ago I contacted your website in good faith about a Big Mac I received at one of your restaurants that was missing fully 50% of it’s meat content, or one (1) beef patty. Not able to fit the entire complaint into your 1500 character limit, I instead wrote my letter, posted it online, and linked to it with a comment about how inadequate said limit was for properly discussing important matters like this.

Well, on Sunday I received a response relating to the issue of the website’s rather pedestrian character limit from a “Jennifer”. However, there was not a word about the more pressing issue – the damaged Big Mac I received. “She” clearly did not take the time to read my well-thought out letter, which I provided a link to, in an effort to alleviate my distress.

Please bear in mind that my patience has been exhausted and I will be patronizing the Salads, Wraps, N’Such in the Tanger Food Court until I receive a response appropriate to my issue. However, I do thank you for considering the issues with your complaint page.

Thank you,
Tino

Whatever customer service representative read this (rightly) caught on to the fact that I’m an asshole, so there was no response. Still, not even a coupon? Weak.

As for my boycott? It has ended, but I limit myself to the dollar menu. Food courts are fucking pricey, man.

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