The New York Post and Gossip Girl in: Both Of These Things Are Terrible!

Now and then, I’ll read the online edition of the New York Post because, I don’t know, I guess I kind of hate myself. A couple of weeks back, its entertainment section (always a good read if you like losing IQ points as much as I apparently do) asked the hard hitting question that’s been on everyone’s mind this fall: “How realistic is ‘Gossip Girl’s depiction of life at NYU?” The result was a vapid article so devoid of any meaning so as to threaten to make the universe collapse on itself in the revelation that, after billions of years, everything that’s been created and will be created is a complete and utter fraud. Or something like that. As always, remember the depressing reality that somebody gets paid money to write this. Let’s get it on!

NYU freshman orientation has begun on “Gossip Girl” — and real-life NYU students are finding it, like, totally absurd.

I always think it’s funny when people complain that a show where nobody acts like a human being that anybody can relate to in the first place is absurd. No shit, you’re watching a show about the completely pointless lives of a bunch of spoiled rich white brats. From what I understand they basically have sex all the time and generally act the way you would expect a bunch of shallow rich assholes to act. Oh, and it’s aimed at 16-to-20 year old girls, which I assume is the only reason it’s popular.

Keg parties on rooftops? Heading to the Housing Office to request being roomed with a friend as a frosh? NYU being less expensive than Yale?

Communal showers?

So not true, say fans, who also happen to have intimate knowledge of the actual university they attend.

Awwww shit! Rich kid fight!

In last Monday’s episode, viewers learned that Blair (Leighton Meester) and Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg) — now roomies — and Dan (Penn Badgley) and Vanessa (Jessica Szohr), all moved into the same dorm on Fifth Avenue, the fictional “Ehrlich Residence Hall,” which seems to be a thinly-veiled stand-in for real-life Rubin Hall, a freshman-only NYU dorm.

The only reason I quoted this is to wonder aloud why Leighton Meester is in Cobra Starship songs now. Also, check out this picture of Vanessa and Kelly (and yes, I looked their names up) in the article:

Surprisingly and disappointingly, the article doesn’t mention whether or not it’s gotten any harder to find spray-on tan in the Lower West Side as a result of ‘Gossip Girl’.

In response to the “Gossip Girl” suggestion that NYU students would turn down Blair’s sushi and saketini party (located in the common room, no less) in favor of the aforementioned rooftop kegger, NYU Local blogger Natan Edelsburg had two things to say:

“Fuck you. Why are you asking me this? Who gives a shit?” It’s too bad they don’t ask me these questions. Actually, it’s probably for the better. Also, I got rejected from NYU, so I have no clue. Let’s see what Natan has to say.

* “Do you think when the writers wrote this part they were considering the fact that a central memory from every NYU freshman is sake bombing on Bleecker?”

Yeah, seriously. What a bunch of noobs. Everybody knows that.

* “Would there really be a rooftop party at Ehrlich Residence Hall? Don’t the writers know that in NYU housing we’re forbidden to peek outside of our windows for the slight chance that we might kill ourselves?”

Or, the slight chance you might throw your television out the window after realizing you watch ‘Gossip Girl’. Burned!

As for Blair and Georgina’s jumbo-sized dorm room, one NYU Local blogger comments, “I think NYU’s love of money explains the size [of the room]. I would bet that Blair paid NYU to convert a room that originally houses 3-4 people.”

Totally. I bet this will be mentioned in a future episode. When the international students next door complain about the loud noises coming from their room at 4 AM and the school threatens to separate the pair, it’ll be up to the strength of their friendship to fight the power and stay together. Also: money, and somebody will sleep with a Chinese exchange student to complicate matters. DRAMA!

One blog commenter did give the series props though for a reference to “Art & the World,” a class that he says he actually took during his freshman year at Tisch.

NYU officials declined to comment.

I assume they were too busy smoking out of rolled-up $100 bills to comment. This is fortunate and probably saved some of NYU’s reputation.

If you’re wondering if I feel like a worse human being for writing this, the answer is: yes, yes I do.