It’s Always Sunny In Medford #5
Posted by Tino Evangelou on October 16, 2008
There is little we can predict about what the world will be like thousands of years from now. It may be possible that human selfishness and ignorance dooms the planet and the human race to a premature end. It’s also possible the good in us, the proverbial “human spirit” perseveres, and that our distant descendants live in a utopia far removed from anything we could possibly imagine. Or, we could continue to walk a tightrope between annihilation and prosperity. I guess the point is, who can really tell? Don’t bother pointing out that I just rendered this entire paragraph meaningless, I’m well aware.
As for the fate of our country, there are some scholars that insist the decline of the United States as a world power is already happening. I’m not going to take a position on that right now, but suppose for a moment the most pessimistic analysts are indeed correct – that we’re doomed to decline in potency and become an also-ran, if not worse. Also suppose the more optimistic part of my first paragraph comes to pass, that humanity has somehow endured despite America’s decline. Now, let’s say in this world that historians thousands of years from now are looking for a single, definitive, crystal-clear moment to mark as the beginning of the end for the United States of America.
I submit to you that if they ever find evidence of the following, they would need look no further:
Yes, it says what you think it says: New York Times Bestselling Author 50 Cent.
I ran across this book while doing some paperwork at my local library the other day. After taking a look and being somewhat amused that there’s a line of G-Unit books in the first place, I realized that the front cover boasted of 50’s commercial literary success. Holy. Shit.
The implications are twofold. Besides making it clear that a lot of people clearly decided that 50 Cent’s books were a good buy (Congratulations world, you’ve beaten the optimism out of me once more!) , this officially has to make New York Times Bestselling Author one of the most meaningless titles in existence. After all, 50 Cent adds a prestigious list of literary giants that includes James Patterson and Mick Foley.
I briefly – very, very briefly – considered checking the book out to (hilariously!) review it but decided I probably couldn’t do it justice. At least, not until The Game starts writing books in retaliation and himself becomes a New York Times Bestselling Author, in which case I might start a “Mediocre Rapper Book Club” where we don’t actually discuss any books but rather drink. A lot. Wouldn’t that be something?
On second thought, don’t answer that.
