Adventures in Soccer Fandom, Part Two
Posted by Tino Evangelou on May 5, 2008
Let’s talk about the English Premiere League. It ranks as one of the highest profile sports leagues in the world, rivaled only by La Liga (Spain) and Serie A (Italy) as far as quality of play and financial profitability goes for soccer leagues. It also is the foreign league with the highest profile in the United States (to a large degree, one would imagine, because of the language factor). While it has a long and storied past, my experiences with the league have been relatively sparse to this point. Still, that doesn’t mean I can’t talk about them, right?
My familiarity with the EPL, aside from the occasional Man United jersey sighting or cable telecast, really began in earnest with the Championship Manager series of games. Championship Manager is a soccer management simulation and, being a dork, I dabbled in old versions of the game, trying to run a successful franchise that wasn’t one of the big four (Man United, Chelsea, Liverpool, or Arsenal). It’s through that game I learned most of what I know about player movement in soccer (a complete departure from American sports), as well as many of the teams and players in England and other parts of Europe. A short time ago I tried to play a newer version of Championship Manager and, given my still-loose grasp of soccer tactics and the fact you apparently need to be well-versed in them to have any success (oops), I did not fare so well. Still, I had a lot of fun back in the day trying to lead backwards second division teams into the Premiership, and its there my on-again off-again fascination with the league began.
More recently, I decided to try to take an active rooting interest in the league, noting that the sports I have the greatest interest in are those where I have a vested interest in the outcome (sadly, my attendance as Stony Brook doesn’t do enough to get me interested in NCAA Basketball before March – I wonder why?). I narrowed my choices down pretty quickly and decided that Manchester City (and their sweet powder blue jerseys) was the natural fit for my masochistic sports-rooting needs. Just take a look at their wikipedia page!
“City supporters tend to believe that unpredictability is an inherent trait of their team, and label unexpected results “typical City”. Events that fans regard as “typical City” include City’s being the only reigning English champions ever to be relegated (in 1938), the only team to score and concede over 100 goals in the same season (1957–58), or the more recent example that City were the only team to beat Chelsea in the 2004–05 Premiership, yet in the same season City were knocked out of the FA Cup by Oldham Athletic, a team two divisions lower.”
A group of fans that expect failure! How refreshing and very much like me.
But wait, there’s more where that came from! Their owner, Thaksin Shinawatra, was the former Prime Minister of Thailand until he was removed by a military junta. After spending 17 months in exile he returned to Thailand – only to be arrested on arrival at the airport. If James Dolan flew to Thailand and got arrested, Knicks fans everywhere would celebrate the day as a holiday. Despite the apparent hurdles of exile and accusations of human rights violations, Shinawatra has actually improved the club’s visibility by spending huge amounts on transfers and hiring (and recently firing) former England manager Sven-Goran Erikkson. The EPL’s ownership ranks also boast idiot Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks (Liverpool), Tampa Bay Bucs owner Malcom Glazer (Manchester United) and Russian tycoon Roman Abramovich (Chelsea).
Manchester City’s brightest young star is 19 year old defender Micah Richards. Micah is known for his sterling play on the field (he’s already become a national team regular) but he’s also known for “roasting” a female fan with a fellow Premiere League player and then sending the videotape of the incident to his friends through his cellphone. “Roasting”, for those unaware, is the term Brits use for an “Eiffel Tower”. While the act may have been lewd and his behavior ridiculous I can only presume it takes a hell of a lot of self-confidence to send video of orgies you were involved in through your phone. And if there’s one thing you need to be a star athlete (or an amateur porn star), it’s confidence.
Manchester City has a couple of obvious similarities with the New York Mets, most notably the spotty record of success and the loyal-yet-apparently self deprecating fan base (I would like to note that no Met player has yet been involved in a sex tape controversy as of yet, however). They also share a city with a high-profile, well-bankrolled team with a group of obnoxious, omnipresent supporters. Sound familiar? I’m talking, of course, about Manchester United, perhaps the world’s most well-known sports franchise (contrary to what the YES network would have you believe). Manchester United’s best player is Christiano Ronaldo, a preening, self-absorbed pretty boy and one of the world’s finest players. He’s like Alex Rodriguez, only if A-Rod fell to the ground after any pitch came within six inches of him and started screaming in agony.
Speaking of Christiano Ronaldo and Manchester United, they haven’t been without their own off-pitch problems. I mentioned last time that EPL players’ seemed to have significantly more hilarious personal lives, but maybe the words I should’ve used were “fucking insane” because they all appear to be sex-crazed maniacs. The United States has athletes like Shawn Kemp and Travis Henry fathering children out of wedlock all over the place (including the recent and disturbing Karl Malone story), but it can’t match the sheer lunacy of Europe’s athletes when it comes to sexual escapades. There was also a decidedly unfunny rape accusation thrown into United’s troubles thanks to a team sex party. No good.
As far as issues of on-pitch performance go, Manchester United is in position to win another Premiership title as well as the UEFA Champions’ League, but were swept by Manchester City this season for the first time in nearly 40 years (take that!). Manchester City, for its troubles, is in the top ten and seems to be entering a new era, although they recently fired manager Sven-Goran Erikkson despite a season that could only be considered a success for them.
Despite the problems with their ownership I decided to follow Man City because of a loyal, long-suffering fanbase, the various similarities with my Mets, the sweet jerseys and the apparent promise in the team’s future. I have had the chance to watch only a handful of EPL games this season and very little at all of Manchester City, unfortunately. With any luck, I’ll be able to watch more games next season and become something more than a phony internet fan.
And if Jozy Altidore, the Red Bulls star who I mentioned in my first post, does join Manchester City at some point? Please, keep him away from Micah Richards and his cameraphone.
