Behold – the future of humanity!
Posted by Tino Evangelou on October 26, 2007
Looks like we’ve got even more entertainment from our wacky friends over at the BBC! This time, it seems someone at the London School of Economics has come up with some ideas as to how the human race might continue to evolve in the coming millennia.
First off, I don’t really know much about the London School of Economics, but having an “evolutionary theorist” working at a school of economics seems counterintuitive. Secondly, like the article itself basically admits, it sounds like the guy got his ideas from an HG Wells book. I guess it’s an interesting hypothetical question but there isn’t much in the way of actual proof in the article for anything the guy says is going to happen other than “technology is going to do everything for us” and “good looking people like to have sex with good looking people”. The whole thing seems overly simplistic and smacks with cultural and sexual elitism, right down to the assumption that everyone has the same (presumably modern Western) standards for physical attractiveness.
Also, I’ll bet a million dollars right now that we won’t be around in 100,000 years, at least not on this planet. Of course, I don’t have a million dollars, but I’m going to be long dead in 102,007 AD and therefore unable to pay up anyway. Hell, I’m not sure we’re making it another 1,000 years at this rate, which is when his supposed “peak’ for mankind occurs.
I digress. Ignoring for a moment everything in this man’s theory that someone could find fault with (and there’s plenty), I’m once again going to pick out one part of the article and blow it entirely out of context. Behold:
“The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative and a far cry from the “underclass” humans who would have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.”
Tall? Slim? Intelligent?!? Attractive?!?! Sound like anyone you might know?
I think it’s very clear what this all amounts to. This is just more evidence of what I’ve secretly known all along: that I am the man of the future. You could say that I’m very much ahead of my time. Maybe this guy isn’t so off-base after all. When my great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren are the masters of Earth (presuming the human race doesn’t drown or die off in a nuclear holocaust), they’ll be able to look back on this and say “Tino fucking told you so!”.
Now if you excuse me, there’s a mirror that needs my attention. Think I could play this whole “man of the future” angle up from now on? Huh? Anyone? Maybe you should check back later when I return from Delusion Land.
