My fantasy baseball world!
Posted by Tino Evangelou on July 11, 2007
Before I get started, I wanted to simply wonder aloud how Major League Baseball could hype up an EXHIBITION like the All-Star Game, attach the ridiculous caveat that the winning league gets home field advantage in the World Series (which, if I’m not mistaken, never needed a stupid gimmick to be considered “important”), pay Joe Buck to remind us 12,000 times during the course of the evening that “Now it counts!”…and then watch Tony LaRussa leave Albert Pujols, one of the best hitters in the world, on the bench in the ninth inning of a one-run contest so Aaron Rowand could fly out to end the game? Could somebody explain this to me? Even Pujols (who, in case you forgot, happens to be LaRussa’s player) was completely stunned that he did not enter the game.
Asinine.
Rather then dwell on the mental lapses of a baseball genius like Tony LaRussa, I’m ready to do something else with my time. In fact, I’m going to let you in on another time-consuming aspect of my life you will undoubtedly find boring – fantasy baseball! Both of my teams are in first place presently, so quite frankly (thanks Stephen A. Smith!) I feel like bragging. Will this lead to my ultimate demise? Absolutely, but fuck it, I don’t have that much else to brag about. On to the show!
My first team, I Hate Yadier Molina, plays in an 8 team Yahoo! head-to-head league. The stats are standard 5X5 with the addition of OPS and K/BB. Fueled by their owner’s unyielding hatred and rage towards the events of the previous October, they have stormed out to a 106-56-6 record and a 17 game lead. The roster:
Position Players
C: Joe Mauer
1B: Prince Fielder
2B: Placido Polanco
3B: Mike Lowell
SS: Jose Reyes
OF: Grady Sizemore, Carl Crawford, Adam Dunn
Utility: Hunter Pence
Bench: 1B Carlos Pena, 2B Howie Kendrick
DL: SS/OF BJ Upton
Pitchers
Starters: Jake Peavy, Ben Sheets, Josh Beckett, Chris Young, Daisuke Matsuzaka
Relievers: Francisco Cordero, Takashi Saito, Bob Wickman, Eric Gagne, Brian Fuentes
DL: Oliver Perez
Needless to say, I like this team. I managed to get two of my favorite Mets and I’m pretty sure I’m going to cut that slob Bob Wickman after his next blowup, meaning there will be no Yankees or Braves present. Take that, two most hated baseball teams! You’re not good enough for me!
My other team, Porkchop Sandwiches, has a 76-44-10 record an an 11 game lead in a 6 team 5X5 matchup league. It features much of the same cast from IHYM: Fielder, Sizemore, Peavy, Young, Saito, Wickman, and Cordero. I’m not going to type out the whole roster for this team because it’s a 6 team league and it just looks ridiculous, but it’s probably the only time I’m ever going to be able to have Albert Pujols and Miguel Cabrera in the same lineup. I’m also not sure how I managed to have Bob Wickman on both my teams, but that kind of pisses me off now that I think about it.
What does all this mean? If you’re a fan of the Padres, Red Sox or Brewers you should probably be worried because I own a bunch of your important players and that usually doesn’t bode well for them. An inevitable late season flameout is now guaranteed that I’ve spent the time to let you know how my teams are doing. It was fun while it lasted! Maybe I’ll post an update later in the season because it’d be a shame if this was the last time I talked about my fantasy baseball exploits until Aaron Heilman’s Bloody Revenge takes the field in 2008.
